You NEVER eat low fat dressing..are you okay?

There was such a ruckus.  Four kids and 3 adults reeking havoc on the buffet table.  I did catch Bob's eye once or twice, but he never held the stare more than a second or so.  It reminded me of being in Junior high and "liking" someone.  I watched though.  How he played with his kids. How he disciplined them for mistreating their food or their siblings!  How he laughed and how he finally spoke to me as natural and causal as could be.  He asked how I knew Kim and how long I was friends with Dawn and how great it was that Kendra was in between the ages of his boys.  He seemed unscathed concerning the tragic break up of his common law marriage. A loss caused by what would be the worst thing that could happen in any relationship...having your significant other cheat on you with someone NOT of the opposite sex, accompanied by a confession that you were merely nothing but a sperm donor.  However, he seemed quite content with the remaining love of his children, but yet seemed trapped by it as well.  My heart pounded as my attraction to this man grew.  The chaos grew too, the kids became too much to handle in this public venue.  By the way, I was pre-warned that Kim and Bob's kids where not angels from heaven nor did they posses even the rudimentary scruples.  In other words, they where a bunch of brats. .  Civilized, leisurely adult conversation was not an option at this time.  So, we went our separate ways.  He politely said "Nice to really meet you" and laughed.  He ran after his boys out the door.  They had stolen grapes from the salad bar and they all seemed to be playing some kinda army game with them.  I almost wished I was playing too, but I would have taken the Strawberries and had the advantage over the enemy.
I would soon find out the secret that allowed Bob to appear so easy going and the vises that kept him sane. 

....the swaggering stranger

She said “BoB”   I said "WHAT?"   I have no idea. Dawn, I said I wanted to get laid after 9 years, not fall into some freaky az family zoo mess….So that was the end of that, here and then anyway.   All I knew was that he drove a green minivan, was very tall and very blond. That was all I cared to know, or so I thought...A month or so went by….I still didn’t get my sex!!!!   I didn’t want to do the bar thing…..there was a few prospects at work and Kendra's dad may have shown some interest again (We were only together for 2 weeks originally)…..But nothing really excited me. Dawn and her ex girlfriends granddaughter were the exact same age of 8 so on the weekends, we would go out for breakfast, shopping or just hang out, sometimes with Kim and her kids. Well, one weekend Dawn said we were going to one of Kim's boys birthday parties. I knew these two were still dangling this Bob guy as the piece of meat I've been waiting for.   Well, Kendra liked hanging with the boys and the older girl Rebeca, so I said WHY NOT. We went to that party in November 2000. There was a whole TRIBE at that house, I swear. At least 40 people. Dawn told me they were all Kimmy's relatives in some way. At that point I was happy to be an only child!!!!! Well as we girls sat on the sofa, talking , eating our cake, gossiping , and watching this….this small carnival, I notice a hint of musk with a fruity after-tone drift into the room. It was an exquisite smell. I heard a mans voice, a deep, smooth sensual voice-- first speaking and then laughing and playing. The voice then ended abruptly. But the smell got closer. It was accompanied by the long strides of muscular legs attached to a 6 foot blond man seen from only across the room.  He negotiated the crowded room gracefully, and walked toward the kitchen doorway. That walk was soo steady... flowing.... manly...confident.... and so damn sexy. I leaned over to Dawn and asked “WHO, was THAT?” she said that was HIM….Bob. Well he never emerged from the kitchen again until it was time for us to leave.  Later, I had learned that he was wrestling with his boys and the birthday boy head-butted him and knocked 2 of his front teeth out. Well, the winter moves on, the holidays are moving closer…So we all decided to go out to Ponderosa Steak House Buffet. Of course this was another attempt by Kimmy and Dawn to get me and Bob hooked up. To this point, I really didn't even know what this man truly looked like, yet I knew I was attracted to him---a very strange and curious feeling. He has a swaggering confident walk, a head of golden locks that brush his shoulders, and he smells like he’s been harvesting cranberries from the swamp all day long.   What the HELL am I getting myself into?

...still in the begining

Well, I had like one good friend in the whole world and she was a manager a mini market. This is where my story starts getting a little messed up. Well....A LOT messed up.  Dawn did not have a good childhood and she just wrote men off completely. She didn’t even know if she was straight or gay and didn’t really even care one way or another.  I would call her asexual at this point in her life! Anyway...One of her friends worked at the gas station with her. Her name was Kimberly….and SHE was definitely a lesbian--I met her very manly girlfriend. Sometimes I would pop in and visit Dawn at the gas station. While I was there  one day, a MAN dropped Kimmy off at work. I DID take slight notice to the tall blonde stranger when he came into the station and bought a soda and a bag of chips and asked Dawn who he was.. She told me it was Kimmys ex paramour and also proceeded to tell me their life story.  I couldn't imagine WHY this would be a topic of interest until she began....  Bob and Kimmy had 3 children together and had lived in a committed relationship for about 10 years.  That was until one day when Kimberly confessed to her soon to-be-husband that she was gay and was leaving him to be with another womea....and by the way, Bob, Thanks for the Kids, I wanted them really badly  Wow, what a blow to the manhood, eh?  Turning your "wife" gay.  Dawn continued her story, trying to make the whole conclomerated testimony make sense. She went on to tell me that Bob and Kimmy STILL lived together with the kids AND Kimberly's girlfriend Charmaine. At this point I am totally flabergasted. Sooo, Kimmy, Bob, Charmaine, and the 3 kids live together???   YES.    Are the 3 lovers?   NO, Kim is committed to Charmaine. Well, why is Bob still there? Because he wants to be with his children and he also helps take care of Kimmys parents. Now WAIT…..what do her parents have to do with it? Well, they also live with them. OH MY GOD, what kinda mess is this?   Kim and Bob have know each other a total of 12 years, so everything between them is very familiar. Kimberly also has 9 syblings, most with children of their own. The entire family is very close knit with focus surrounding the elderly, disabled parents.   OKAY SO AFTER A HOUR OF THIS still unfinished, CONVOLUTED STORY…..Dawn comes out with “”Well, what did you think of him?” At this point I am totally emotinally exhausted from hearing this and say  THINK OF HIM?-HIM, WHO?

In the begining....

I had a decent life. A good childhood, no abuse, little drama, a lot of average middle class. Lived in the same house for 19 years-my parents together and my pets dying of old age. I experimented with drugs and alcohol and thought that the first man I ever had sex with I was the one I was gonna marry. Big surprise, that didn’t work out, so I psycho manipulated myself into believing I was getting back at all the men folk in the world by having a very looong decade of promiscuity during my twenties. Always had a job, always worked real hard, and always drank all that hard work off every night at any bar. For every long term relationship I had, I had five no-term ones. But one day, my life changed. My days of he hawing and sluting around were done. I had a baby girl in 1992 at age 28. I was alone and ended up on Welfare. Since they offered, I went to school for 4 years on the tax payers money. I won’t mention the huge balance school loan for all the EXTRA amenities a student should have while living off the government--vacation in the Bahamas, brand new Toyota Celica and designer jeans for the toddler.. I earned a degree in Environmental Biology and found out that all the fun jobs are in Biology, but the money is not. I KNEW I should have been a chemistry major, but I just couldn’t stomach all the math. Even graduating sum cum laude could not land me a job making enough to support my daughter and I.--------- So I was able to get a good wage job a a large insurance company to support us. I STILL WORK THERE TODAY. Anyway, after these 4 years, I had eaten myself into over 400 lbs of fat thru depression and single parent stress. I had gastric bypass in 2000 and lost 235 pounds. Well, ya know not a lot of men want a relationship with a women who can barely put their own socks on so the year and a half after the surgery, I had the excess skin removed off my gut, and I am looking pretty good and feeling awefully frisky. It has been 8 or 9 years since I had sex…OMG.